7 Restaurants to Try Before I Kill You

Delicious murder cake.

Delicious murder cake.

Fried ice cream, eggplant dressing, bottomless gravy mimosas.  These may not sound like your typical restaurant fare, but they are all uniquely delicious and served at restaurants we here at Rawful News believe you should try before we find and kill you.

Bay Cities Italian Deli & Bakery

Tucked away several blocks from the beautiful Santa Monica beach, this authentic italian deli is home to the famous Godmother sandwich.  IT may sound like an ordinary italian sandwich at first, but the fresh ingredients including dough baked in their ovens every morning is beyond heavenly.  If you are in the area, a definite must-eat before I track you down and bathe in your blood.

Ike’s Place

Speaking of heavenly sandwich shops, San Francisco’s very own Ike’s Place may rival Bay Cities, but it far surpasses it in quantity of selections. With hundreds of sandwiches to choose from, you really cannot go wrong with any choice. Get there early though as this must-eat can develop quite the line. Try a new sandwich each time, you won’t regret it, and it’s good to have no regrets before I come from the shadows and chop you to bits.


Everyone knows of New York’s Katz Delicatessen, but this French brasserie is everything a restaurant should be.  Low-key breakfasts, business lunches, or a fancy dinner, come for the foise gras and duck au poivre, stay for the atmosphere in a place where I will do things to you the the writers of SAW couldn’t imagine in their worst nightmares.

Muriel’s Jackson Square

This must-eat New Orleans staple has the most authentic cajun and creole food this nation has to offer.  On top of delicious food, and impeccable service, the location cannot be beat, blocks from the Mississippi River and in the heart of the French quarter.  Eat a delicious french breakfast and wander the streets of New Orleans, possibly down a dark alley, where you will find me waiting with a plastic bag and a machete.

Jasper White’s Summer Shack

Boston is known for its incredible clam chowder, but this restaurant arguably has one of the best clam chowders around.  The use of salt pork brings out that cleaner flavor many other Boston eateries are lacking.  You can taste the history in every bite as I can taste your history after I kill and eat you to possess your power.

Voodoo Doughnut

Portland’s slogan is keep Portland weird, and Voodoo Doughnut does just that. With an eclectic decor and more types of donuts one ever knew possible, the line often runs down the block.  Try something a little stranger like the dirty snowballs doughnut, Miami Vice berry doughnut or go with their famous maple-bacon bar.  You can’t go wrong ending your life with a delicious donut, it will make your murder much easier for both of us.

Tony Luke’s

Located in South Philly, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, this is authentic as a philly cheesesteak can get.  Order from the side window and eat at their outdoor picnic tables.  The “Whiz With” Cheesesteak is their most well known but you can’t go wrong here with any choice. Be sure and come hungry because their sandwiches are large and will weigh you down which will make it much easier for me to catch you, kill you, and get you to sink to the bottom of any large body of water.

There you have it folks, Rawful News’ Top 7 Restaurants to Try Before I Kill You because you only live one life and you should enjoy it while it lasts.

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