Ray Lewis: Greatest Murderer/Athlete of All Time

There have been many greats in American sports: Bart Starr, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Rex Grossman.  The list could go on and on.  But very few hold the title of murderer/athlete.  That distinction is left to a select few.  Today at Rawful News, in honor of the coming Superbowl, we have named Ray Lewis the greatest murderer/athlete of all time.

This was no easy task to determine the great murder/athlete of all time either.  The list is deep with talented murderers who played professional sports.  Like Javaris Critterton who was arrested for allegedly killing an old lady, Mark Rogowski a skateboarder circa the days of Tony Hawk’s beginnings, Jayson Williams who killed his limo driver, OJ Simpson who you may remember, Ugueth Urbina who took a machete to some of his ranch workers and then set fire them on fire.  All of these are great athletes, or great murders.  But not both.  None have reached the level of Ray Lewis as a hero to the American public, future hall of fame linebacker, and alleged murderer.

The NFL has discussed with other leagues the possibility of bringing about a murderer/sports hall of fame.  “We are committed to recognizing excellence on AND off the field,” stated NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.  “It’s about time somebody stood up and recognized them.”  Plans to instate the Murder/Sports Hall of Fame are in the initial talks and will most likely not become fully realized until 2018.  By that time there should be a whole new batch of deaths to discuss.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

One Response to Ray Lewis: Greatest Murderer/Athlete of All Time

  1. Dylan says:

    this is a great satire. love it

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