JJ Abrams to Direct Everything that Ever Was or Will Be

May the force live long and prosper.

Just on the heels of Disney’s announcement, declaring JJ Abrams to be the next director of Star Wars’ reboot, all major studios have come in to agreement that JJ should direct every movie from now on and be given credit for any movie that has already been made.

JJ Abrams and his production company, Bad Robot, have been extremely successful in recent years releasing numerous blockbusters including Mission Impossible, Cloverfield, Super 8, and most recently the reboot of the ever popular Star Trek franchise.  Disney has since offered JJ the director’s job on the new Star Wars film.  Since then, several high profile meetings involving heads of all the major movie and television studios to convene and agree, JJ should direct everything from now on.  “He is a talented director,” stated CAA head Richard Lovett.  “He also makes a buttload of money.  That usually never ends so it’s a great idea to have him direct everything from now on.”

The decision was not only made to have Abrams direct everything from now on, but to give him a directing credit on every movie that has ever been made as well.  Since that decision was made, past movies and television show sales have gone through the proverbial roof.  “DVD’s, VHS’s, you name it.  They’re flying off the shelves,” stated last Blockbuster manager Aaron Greenspan.  “We are almost completely wiped out, and not because we can’t afford to stay open.  It’s like real business is happening.  We actually had to hire an employee.  Crazy.”


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