After Discovering the Internet, Little Joey Sanford Entered and Exited Puberty.

georgeJoey Sanford, aged 11, was but a simple young lad last week.  He enjoyed playing sports with friends, video games, watching movies, even laughing at his own farts.  He was a true adolescent male.  But then something happened.  He discovered the internet.

Yes, earlier today Joey discovered the internet.  His parents had kept it a secret from him so as to avoid all of the dangers that comes with being a young child on the internet: perverts, pornography, and kitten videos.  All dangerous when put in the wrong hands.  But one cold day, Joey’s only friend Gabe told Joey to send him an email.  When Joey replied with “what’s an email,” Gabe took it upon himself to give Joey some alone time with his laptop computer.  Joey first entered Mozilla Firefox at 8:58 am, closed it at 3:42 pm, and reportedly finished puberty at the very same time.  He grew a foot and a half, gained 50 lbs of pure muscle and found himself with a deep voice.

It is unclear at this point which sites he visited.  “Honestly I think it’d be easier to show what sites he didn’t visit,” said Joey’s friend Gabe.  “My search history was incredibly dense.  Couldn’t even tell you.”  Joey is officially a man now, fully capable of growing a beard within minutes, bench pressing 400 lbs and has killed animals with his bare hands.  In a cool way, not like a psycho way.


About Rawful News
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