Ann Romney Won’t Stop Asking Michelle Obama if She Can Touch Her Hair

First Lady Michelle Obama complained to the media yesterday about the Romney family.  Though this complaint was not about politics, it was about Ann Romney always asking if she can touch Mrs. Obama’s hair.

It is a well-known fact that African-American hair has a much different texture than that of a Caucasian-American’s hair.  Many times, children who have not lived in a very diverse place ask to feel the hair of the first African-American they become close enough with.  Well, for Ann Romney, that time has come much later in life than most.  In fact, the first black people she has ever come in direct contact with has been the Obama’s.  “She knew about black people, that they existed,” stated long-time friend Terry Thatch.  “She saw the Jeffersons one time as a child and just thought it was her tv acting up.”  And apparently now that the Romney’s and Obama’s have spent enough time together, despite their sheer opposition towards one another, Ann Romney finally felt comfortable enough to pop the question.

“Can I touch it?” was Ann’s first question, to which Michelle asked “the fuck’d you just say to me?”  Ann Romney was startled, even thought she may be ‘shanked.’  But curiosity got the better of her.  “Your hair…May I touch it?  I hear it is different from my elegantly flowing locks.”  Sources close to the First Lady stated that Michelle walked away so as to not feel the need to ‘shank that hoe,’ (direct quote).  Many would assume that would be the end of the question.  But Ann Romney has asked every single meeting since.  “May I feel your hair NOW?” or “I just washed my hands, can I now?” or “Please just let me get in there real deep like.”  No word as to whether Michelle will break down and let her feel her hair.  Probs not.


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