Area Man Totally Could Have Gone to Harvard if He Had Just Tried Harder

Local underachiever Dick Travis, told his family at a recent get together, that he definitely could have gone to Harvard if he had just tried harder.

Dick Travis is a 35 year old auto-mechanic with no wife living by himself in a studio apartment in a dingy part of Cleveland, Ohio.  He has by no means a poor life, but there is nothing very extraordinary about it.  His IQ is around 96 and his grades in school were never anything better than fair.  But as he discussed his life thus far with his parents, uncles, and grandparents, he stated that “I totally could have gone to Harvard.  I just needed to try harder.”

“I was flabergasted when he said that,” said his long-time mother.  “I mean I love him and all.  But he is kind of an idiot.  It’s not rude if it’s true right?”  No one wanted to tell him he could have never been accepted by Harvard in a million years but there was an obvious silence in the air.  “It would have been mean to call him out on his shitty life in front of everyone,” stated Dick’s dick dad.  “I mean I’m a lawyer AND  doctor.  Not the first time I have wondered whether he’s related to me or not.”

No word as of yet about whether or not Dick plans on trying harder to get into Harvard but probably not because talking about it is practically doing it.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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