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Local Woman Goes on ‘Eat Pray Love’ Expedition to Next Town Over.


Jessica Chaste, aged 44, has felt recently that she is stuck in a rut. That her life is not on a path she is neither spiritually, physically, or emotionally fulfilled. So after reading the book titled Eat, Pray, Love, by Jessica decided to go on the very same expedition.

“I had decided what Julia Roberts’ character did in the book is exactly what I needed for my life,” stated Jessica.  “I needed something to revitalize my life.”  Jessica soon realized that a trip of that magnitude would be very expensive.  And because she is paying off her credit card debts for all of that workout equipment she got last Christmas for herself to get skinny again.  Her trip soon found itself toned down to finding the most similar areas in the United States comparable to the areas in the book.  She discovered that the next town over had a yoga studio, Olive Garden, and a speed dating event all only twenty miles away.

“Unlimited soup and salad was delicious.  Pretty sure I gained ten pounds.”  After that she went to the yoga studio figuring that the exercise would be warranted after a meal like that.  She lasted only seven minutes.  She passed gas and was too embarrassed to stay.  She left to hit her speed dating event but since those seven minutes were the most difficult exercise of her life she smelled like sweat.  “I couldn’t just show up to a dating event smelling the way I did.  I just went home and rewatched Eat, Pray, Love.  I mean reread the book.  Damn it.”

Jessica says her life is much more fulfilled because of the exotic staycation and that she is a better person for having done it.  She has begun to lecture her two friends into doing something similar if they are smart.

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About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at http://www.rawfulnews.com/ Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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