Mitt Romney Eats Heart of Wolf To Close The Republican National Convention

This past Thursday, Mitt Romney ate the heart of a still live wolf to show his ferocity and dominance for the coming general election.

Many have stated since Mitt Romney’s run for the 2008 presidency, that he is very stiff, made of oatmeal, has no flare to his personality. This speech was his chance to show the world exactly what he is capable of. So to wrap up his time on stage, RNC crew brought out a tied up wolf and placed it on the podium in front of him. From there he proceeded to pull out a dagger and rip into the chest of said wolf.

He quickly pulled the knife back ripping muscle and breaking bone. From there he plunged his hand deep into the animal’s chest and seconds later pulled out a heart which still beat three more times before the life fire was extinguished. The crowd roared with applause and nearly brought the house down.

“What Governor Romney did was a disgusting act,” stated PETA spokesperson and all around dirty person Angela Ringle. “We were going to call for an all out protest of Mr. Romney but we soon realized the people who support us would never vote for him anyways so we’ll just hand out some disgusting pamphlets instead.”


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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