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Zoo Animals Reportedly Experiencing Heavy Stockholm Syndrome


Zookeepers across the nation are panicking this week over the discovery that most of the animals in the zoos are experiencing a heavy case of Stockholm Syndrome.

The discovery came from a double-blind, university study testing the levels of affection zoo animals felt towards their handlers over time.  Animals that were brought in for the past ten years have been notoriously upset about their new, state of the art home and away from those wretched jungles have shown an incredible disgust with their newly adoptive parents.  As time went on, the animals became increasingly happy with their situation.  The work environment between the trainer and animal increasingly almost exponentially, and at the year mark, the animals became so riddled with Stockholm Syndrome that some of them have even been known to save humans when they accidentally fall into the animals’ home.

There is no quick cure for Stockholm Syndrome.  Which is why the zoos have yet to even try.  “It would practically be futile,” stated the President of the American Zoo Association.  “It would take so long most of these animals would be dead by the time they relearned to hate us.  Plus we’re all going to die anyways.  What’s the point?”

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About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at http://www.rawfulnews.com/ Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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