Everyone Not So Proud of Handicapped Child that Quit Race Halfway Through.

The citizens of New Hope, Minnesota was in agreement this week that they just were not that proud of a certain handicapped child that quit his track and field race halfway through.

Jerry Jones, a fourteen year old child with cerebral palsy, joined the track and field team at the beginning of the season as a team manager.  He did an excellent job.  Teams were showing up on time.  Towels in the locker room were always off the floor and cleaned.  “He was doing such an incredible job,” stated Head Coach Boris Trainer.  “We thought he should be bumped up to become an athlete.  What’s the worst that could’ve happened?”

Jerry suited up for his first track meet this past week as excited as he had ever been.  “He didn’t sleep at all the night before,” stated Jerry’s mom.  “He was engulfed with excitement.  He even wore his uniform to bed.”  But that day, little Jerry Jones was just too tired.  Reportedly his classwork suffered.  By the time he got to the track meet, his energy was completely depleted.  He was to run the 800 meter race, two laps around the track.  The first 300 meters he was doing ok, but by the time he reached the second lap he was panting like a horse in a labor day parade.  At around 450 meters he started to walk, but at 500 meters he left the track completely.

The crowd had been cheering for him the entire way, but the cheers quickly turned into yells and boos.  “Why couldn’t he just finish the fucking race?” shouted a bystander.  “He only had a little bit to go.  It would have been such a good story.  Now I can only tell my kids that if you are faced with adversity you should give up.  Fucking asshole.”  “I hate children,” exclaimed another.  Since then, Jerry Jones has not only been stripped of his track and field uniform and athlete status, but has been refused his position as team manager back.  Another more qualified, handicapped child has taken his place.  Surely he will have a more inspirational story one day.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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