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Police Ordered to Shoot and Kill Any Person Attempting to Take Their Own Life.


A new statute has been commissioned amongst police precincts around the United States: to shoot and kill anyone attempting to take their own life.

For years, when someone is attempting to take their own life, police were ordered to “talk them off the ledge.”  But a new interpretation of the law by the Supreme Court that by threatening to take your own life, you are therefore holding someone hostage and are attempting murder.  Those who are attempting murder are typically given the order shoot to kill.  So the Supreme Court justices found it only pertinent to consider suicides a kidnapping/attempted murder situation.

This has drastically changed the way police do their job in regards to suicides.  The rate of suimurders has been raised infinity percent because nothing was labelled this until a few days ago.  Also, talking people down typically takes hours upon hours.  Those are hours that the policemen will have free to lift weights and fight crime.

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About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at http://www.rawfulnews.com/ Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

One Response to Police Ordered to Shoot and Kill Any Person Attempting to Take Their Own Life.

  1. List of X says:

    That should bring the suicide rate down.

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