Chick-Fil-A Really Being a Dick to Their Gay Chickens Before They Chop Their Heads Off

Those cows are Methodist.

Chick-Fil-A came out of the proverbial closet last week as opponents of same-sex marriage.  But what is really upsetting to the LGBT community is the rude manner in which they are treating the gay chickens they have right before they chop their heads off and fry them in the most delicious manner possible.

It has only come to light since the COO of Chick-fil-a made incriminating comments against the gays that the company, that the company has been seeking out gay chickens and mistreating them, just to really drive the point home.  This has apparently been an “off the books” practice since the 1980’s when people first started thinking about what homosexuals are. 

Their method of finding the gay chickens is by putting same sex chickens into cages together, and if they hump each other, or look too longingly at one another, or have a more pastel colored beak, they are labelled “gay.”  They are then put into a separate cage so as to not “infect” the other straight chickens.  While in there, people line up one-by-one, employees usually but sometimes contest winners too, and ridicule the chickens for their choice of lifestlye.  “It’s Adam and Eve at Chick-Fil-A not Adam and Steve eating fried chicken!” is a popular one.  “Your lifestyle choices will be the end of you!  Also being a delicious chicken doesn’t help!” others have yelled.

Then, right before the moment of no return, all gay chickens are punched in the genitals in order to teach them a lesson in this life and the next.  It’s a very similar scene to that of the Saddam Hussein hanging.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: