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The USA Basketball Team Received Their Jerseys Only to Find They Were Filled With Lead.


The American Olympic Association announced yesterday that they would be outsourcing the USA Basketball Team’s Jersey making to the Chinese.  In an even stranger turn of events, the jerseys received here in the United States were all filled with giant chunks of lead.

There has been much talk about whether this year’s USA Men’s Olympic Basketball team rivals the dream team including Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, and numerous other notables.  It seems the gold medals are easily within grasp for the Americans. 

But in a sneaky attempt to suppress the chances of victory, the Chinese have filled their jerseys with, what we are assuming the most abundant resource of the Chinese, lead chunks.  These heavy chunks will not only suppress their ability to win, but their ability to run and jump.  Of course the poor quality of stitching has allowed most of the chunks to be easily removed or simply fall out on their own.  The Chinese were under investigation until they threatened to call in all of the money they have loaned to the United States.  Shortly thereafter the investigation was called off saying the organization was “satisfied.”

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About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at http://www.rawfulnews.com/ Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

One Response to The USA Basketball Team Received Their Jerseys Only to Find They Were Filled With Lead.

  1. List of X says:

    I’m sure it was not a conspiracy. If I remember correctly, there were some Chinese-made children’s toys with chunks of lead, and they weren’t destined for Olympic athletes.

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