Everyone Shocked About Anderson Cooper’s Homosexuality Until They Realize It Totally Makes Sense


Anderson Cooper shocked the world this past week when he announced his homosexuality until everyone in the world realized it totally made sense.

No one had imagined the long-time, extremely prolific CNN news anchor would be a member of the homosexual community.  That is until everyone took a few seconds out of their day to really think about it.  First off, Anderson Cooper is pretty.  It does not take a genius, fashion model, or someone with 20/20 vision to see this.  He is a pretty man.  Much prettier than most of the women on Fox News, which is saying a lot.

Also, if anyone has ever seen any of Anderson Cooper’s work where he visits some extremely downtrodden area in the most desolate corners of the Earth, they will have surely noticed how well kept he stays his entire time there.  Most straight men would have let themselves go, refusing to shave, shower, and poop anywhere but outside.

Also, Anderson Cooper has his own daytime talk show.  No straight man could ever have their own daytime talk show and be on the air for longer than three minutes.  The main demographic at home during the day to watch television is middle-aged women.  Who appeals to middle-aged women more than gay men?  That’s right, Ellen.

And finally, he is so dang pretty.  Here at Rawful News, we cannot get over how pretty he is.  Look at his silver hair and how perfectly molded it is.  Look at that perfectly delicate smile every time he discusses the human interest piece during his show.  And then when he looks you in the eye with those baby blues doesn’t your heart just melt into a dripping pool of white hot passion?


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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