Boy Scout Earns Coveted “Avoidance of Ass Kicking” Badge

cool bro.

Fifteen year old Joseph Clowes has been awarded the first ever “Avoidance of Ass Kicking” badge, something never achieved in the 102 years since the Boy Scouts of America was founded.

Since 1910, young American boys have fought tooth and nail to become the best boy scouts imaginable.  Some have reached the coveted Eagle Scout position.  Many earn multiple merit badges in such categories as hunting, fishing, fire, and survival skills.  But no boy scout has ever received the highly sought after badge of “Avoidance of Ass Kicking.”  Until now.

Young Joseph Clowes has been noted by many as a very agile and wispy young gentleman.  Others have stated he is nearly invisible to most patrons his age.  “All of these things have helped me avoid getting my ass kicked all of these years,” stated Joseph.  “I have always known that people wanted to end me.  But unlike the other boy scouts, I am constantly worried about it, thinking about my next step, and more importantly, the attackers’ next steps.”  Because of his successful efforts in avoiding a good ol’ ass kicking, he has been awarded the largest merit badge that is weaved with bits of gold and is twice the size of normal merit badges.  Now when he walks around his small circle of friends he will be known as the most powerful weakling of them all.  When he walks in public though it is a shining beacon of nerd.  God speed Joseph.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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