Top 5 Politician Sex Positions

We know many of you out there are curious as to how you can dull down your sex life.  So Rawful News decided it would be very pertinent to publish a story about the Top 5 Politician Sex Positions.

1. Bend Over – This is the almighty favorite of politicians to happen in the bed.  When things are about to reach the climax, instead of finishing, you will want to withdraw from the situation and bend over so you can take it.  This will dull down your sex life by never ending the reason why you started in the first place.

2. Missionary – Many would think this is more popular amongst Republicans as they are typically seen as more straight lace than Democrats.  But this is false.  Both parties are known to stick to the missionary position the entire length of sex.  Any position change would make them seem weak.  It is also the least complicated position to take so maneuverability is key.

3. Momentary Cowgirl – This is for all of the ladies out there.  This is where you have a girl begin the cowgirl position where she is on top of the man, but then immediately removed from the dominant position by the man

4. Joe the Plumber – It’s gross.  You don’t want to try it.

5. The Back Door Deal – This is where you bargain with your spouse for sex in return for some kind of goods or services.  It may be doing the dishes for a month, back rubs, or going to war with Iraq.  Either way it is shady and in the end no one is really happy.  But at least it happened.

*None of these deal with homosexual relations because as of right now, no politician will talk about homosexual relations, let alone take part in it.  Unless it’s a secret.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

2 Responses to Top 5 Politician Sex Positions

  1. List of X says:

    There is also the donkey-style, where both partners have to lean to the left.

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