Ice Cube Admitted to Insane Asylum After Reportedly Being Harassed by a Coors Light Can.

Just three hours ago, the famous rapper known as Ice Cube was admitted to a Detroit insane asylum known as “Friendly Hands” after he made repeated claims a Coors Light can had been harassing him.

For months, Ice Cube has taken part in commercials depicting a can of Coors Light becoming even cooler than Ice Cube himself.  But as time went on it seems that art has become reality.  “Ice began mentioning ‘that damn Coors can’ periodically,” stated long time friend Michael Sperkenberger.  “At first we all thought it was funny.  Thought it was some self depricating humor…you know… playfully laughing at himself.  We soon realized he was not joking.”

As time went on, Ice began showing tell tale signs of ‘crazy.’  He began punching Coors Light cans, playing with his own feces, and even so much as buying a Miller Lite in public.  No one in their right mind would ever do that.  Ice Cube began calling his friends in the middle of the night telling them he was “cornered” by the cans and could not get out.  “If you don’t help me, they will make me freeze to death.  They’re so cold,” is what he told many of his close friends and family.

Ice Cube will remain in treatment indefinitely until either Coors goes out of business or until his fear of losing his cool will subside.  Or maybe when the blue rockies turn back to a metallic color.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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