Miami Heat Given 80% of a Ring for Winning 80% of a Season

At least the ring won’t weigh down their pimp hands.

The Heat, consisting of Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, and probably other players, won the NBA Championship in 5 games last night.  They will soon receive their customary Championship Rings.  But there rings will be a bit different than normal.  They will only be 80% of a regular ring because that is the amount of season they played.

A typical NBA season is 82 games long.  Because of the difficulties with contract negotiations and the quarrel between the players’ association and the team owners this season was shortened.  The season automatically cut 16 games making the season 80% of what it normally is.  At the beginning of the season most teams knew that whoever won this season would have a permanent asterisk by the champion’s name.

There was a discussion to simply make the ring out of silver instead of gold because it is worth about 80% the value of gold.  But then people would confuse whether the team won or lost in the championship and received second.  So the David Stern decided the rings would just have the top chunk missing that says champion.  That way it would still show everyone the Heat are champions, but just 80% of a championship team.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

3 Responses to Miami Heat Given 803 of a Ring for Winning 803 of a Season

  1. C says:

    dude you’re an idiot. They won 100% of the PLAYOFFS.

    • C says:

      Well for what it matters, I realized what this was. Keep up the good work satirizing douchebags like me haha

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