Constitution Changed to One Sentence: Don’t Be An Asshole.

“Don’t be an asshole.”  That is the newly ratified Constitution of the United States of America in its entirety.

Since the ratification of our original Constitution in 1787, people have argued over the interpretation of many different parts our forefathers wrote.  From the Elastic Clause to the 14th Amendment, the induction of the 22nd Amendment to the reppeal of the 18th Amendment and ending Prohibition in the United States.  Every word of the document has been foiled over and discussed hotly.  The present Congress has put an end to all of that.  They took the one route of amending the Constitution that no United States Congress has dared to touch since 1787.  A Constitutional Convention.  Otherwise known as a complete Constitutional overhaul.

“This current Constitution is too dramatic, verbose, and controversial to get anything done,” stated Speaker of the House John Boehner.  “All of this time, the American public thought it was the quarreling and bickering between Democrats and Republicans that was causing all of this political strife.  Well it was.  But it was also our terribly complicated Constitution.”  And not just Republicans agree with this sentiment.  Democrats are extremely on board with it as well.  “I know.  We’re as shocked as you are,” stated President Barack Obama.

The American government will run similar to how it has been in the past, except that any time someone gets out of line in every day life or in the middle of Congress they will simply be reminded to “not be an asshole.”  Don’t steal things, don’t fight someone, don’t be rude.  Don’t be an asshole.  Things should be much simpler this way.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

One Response to Constitution Changed to One Sentence: Don’t Be An Asshole.

  1. List of X says:

    More accurate Constitution should be “you have a right to be an asshole. But don’t be one”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: