News Outlets All Agree That Nothing Really Happened Today

For the first time since the invention of twenty four hour television stations, nothing really happened for an entire day.

This morning’s newscasts were pretty typical of most days with summing up the previous day’s news stories.  Local news outlets touched on weather and traffic which all seemed to be pretty amicable across the nation.  But as the day went on, something interesting began to happen.  Nothing.  Slowly but surely all news media outlets began to realize that nothing was happening during the day.  No accidents, no murders or major crimes to be reported, not a drop of rain or political debate.

But similar to how total silence can mess with the mind, so can a lack of stuff to talk about in the news.  “Journalists” as they were once called, began to argue, fight bitterly, throw chairs, smack papers out of each others’ hands, and in some cases fist fight.  Many even began to question the point of life.  “I mean if there is nothing happening, why even have life?” asked one CNN Reporter.  “There might as well be no life.  Riddle me this GAWD.”

The search for news continues tirelessly into the night but word from Washington is that there may be a giant media outlet bailout consisting of a war in some third world nation.  That would get people watching and bring news back to the news.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

One Response to News Outlets All Agree That Nothing Really Happened Today

  1. List of X says:

    When there are no news, sometimes it helps playing the old news in reverse order.

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