Babies in Arizona Being Told to “Learn English or Get Out of Our Country.”

What an adorable terrorist.

This past week, the Arizona State Legislature passed a bill requiring all babies to learn English and quit with all that “baby talk.”

For years, babies have been speaking their native tongue which no one in the United States has been able to understand.  Whether it is caused by the lack of funds for babilingual classes, an unwillingness to learn, or the fact that our country is not closely surrounded by countries speaking other baby languages, Americans are notorious for not speaking baby talk.  This prejudice has come to the forefront of our televisions with the passing of “Googoo gonegone,” a bill designed to force babies to learn English, or spend time in jail.  Or timeout.

“English is the language of the future.  Everyone speaks it.  If you don’t, you are a terrorist,” stated long time State Senator Alan Higgins.  “Babies have historically never spoken English.  They need to if they wish to integrate into the American way of life.  If they don’t wish to integrate, why are they here?  Learn English idiots.”

The bill states that every month the baby refuses to learn English, they will receive a thousand minutes of time out.  They can have time reduced by proving that there are attempts being made at learning English.  No telling whether or not the Supreme Court will knock this unprecedented bill down.  But this will definitely create a much bright future for Americans all around.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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