U.S. Government Sends a ‘Condolences’ Card to Afghani Families.

Told ya it was lovely.

This past week, a rogue American soldier killed 17 Afghani civilians and wounded many others.

There is no section of the Constitution that dictates how to properly handle this situation.  Forty years ago, without the internet, this could have easily been overlooked as just another act of war.  But nowadays people actually feel bad when word of this situation gets around.  So the government needed to step in and alleviate the situation.

That is where the Condolences card came into play.  President Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Bro Biden reportedly went to their local Walgreens, where they spent approximately fourteen minutes chasing after the perfect card that would really embody how The White House Staff and the American people as a whole truly felt.

You can see the card the trio landed at the end of their search at the top of the article.  It is very pretty and will undoubtedly create a sense of gratitude amongst the Afghani victims for the American government keeping them in their thoughts and prayers.  That will definitely make everything feel all better.

Here is a list of what the three said on the inside of the card:

Hillary Clinton: I have literally been crying nonstop.  I can’t stop thinking about how I could’ve stopped this.  Or just how this will affect me in the future.  It’s important to think about yourself in times like this. -Hillary Clinton

Bro Biden: Have I ever told you folks about the time when I came across a dying squirrel in the streets?  Next time you’re around remind me to tell you about it. – Bro.

Barack Obama: My bad. – The Big O


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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