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Where Do Mitt’s Parts Come From?


Mitt feeding one of his cousins.

There has been much talk recently about the current Republican front-runner Mitt Romney having many different roots in many different states, and therefore should be able to take those states much easier.  Which caused our investigators here at Rawful to become interested in exactly where Mitt comes from.

What our investigation revealed is quite amazing.  Apparently Mitt is a robot (evil or not we do not know yet) that was built in several different areas of the nation.  Below is a list of the areas Mitt’s parts were made:

Utah – Mitt’s central processing unit was made in Utah.  This would otherwise be known to most people as a ‘brain.’  It is obvious in his speeches that his mind is a very dull and narrow processor incapable of some of the more recent models are capable of doing.

Michigan – This is where Mitt’s internal combustion engine was created.  Some would liken this piece of machinery to his ‘heart.’  But it is obvious from his statements like “Corporations are people too my friend,” that his heart sometimes will align with other non-biological beings.

Illinois – Mitt’s brand name comes from his father’s cousin Milton “Mitt” Romney, the Chicago Bears quarterback from 1925-1929.  Most machines carry a brand name that is given out across the board to all products made by that company.  Mitt is no exception.

Massachusetts – Massachusetts is where Mitt was assembled into the ‘man’ we see today.  All of his parts were sent in to Boston and assembled by Bain Capital as another start up venture.

*Editor’s note – Apparently one Mitt’s parts comes from France but we could not definitively rule what it is.  So we are assuming his hairy arms.

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About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at http://www.rawfulnews.com/ Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

2 Responses to Where Do Mitt’s Parts Come From?

  1. edrevets says:

    I’d rather have a half-man half-machine monster in office than a muzlim.

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