The Virus Really In Activia: HIV/AIDS

Everyone knows the Jamie Lee Curtis commercials advertising the beneficial effects of eating Activia on a daily basis.  And their claim is that a beneficial virus is placed into each pack of yogurt that helps keep you thin.  Up until recently, it was unknown what exactly that virus was.  It’s AIDS.

For years, the makers of Activia refused to discuss in detail this so-called “miracle virus.”  They would only mention that it helped keep those who ate the yogurt fit.  Their motivations, while insane, seem to be held by sound logic.  “You see those who acquire this deadly virus tend to be more fit than others because they know they have to be.  Those with AIDS tend to stay much more fit and skinny.  At least the ones that live,” stated Jamie Lee Curtis, that saucy minx.

Despite the FDA’s ban of Activia’s use of HIV/AIDS in their yogurt, we here at Rawful News think it is a noble thing they are doing.  Not everyone has the guts to stand up to obesity.  Most have the guts of the obese.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

4 Responses to The Virus Really In Activia: HIV/AIDS

  1. edrevets says:

    You can get so thin if you have dysentery too.

  2. Simply Tia says:

    Is it bad that I laughed the whole time while reading this?

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