Newly Found Planet Can Only Mean One Thing…

Hopefully we'll build a theme park there soon.

Recently, NASA found what they think to be the first discovered inhabitable planet outside of our solar system.  The newly discovered planet, or Gliese 581g, is entirely covered in water which is what many believe (besides Republicans) how our Earth was once.  This is an incredible breakthrough in the search for extraterrestrial life.  But it does lead to an interesting thought.  Did God create this planet because he has given up on ours?  We think so.

War, genocide, famine, Justin Bieber, bar fights, breast augmentation, high fructose corn syrup, internal combustion engines, pollution, racism, sexism, species-ism, homophobia, pedophilia, zionism, Carlos Mencia, Adolf Hitler, people who call Obama Adolf Hitler, fast food, Snooki’s book, Snooki, etc.  The list goes on and on of reasons why God would no longer have faith in humankind.

This theory is corroborated in a statement from NASA.  “We here at NASA believe that if there is a God, he or she, has completely given up on us.  God has been trying to give us a helping hand for some time.  But in our short history we have completely ignored all of his warnings.  So God has started over.  And that’s where Gliese 581g comes into play.”

God has made no comment yet on whether he has given up on Earth and started over.  Which nine times out of ten means it is true.  One thing is certain though.  The grass is definitely greener on that planet.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

4 Responses to Newly Found Planet Can Only Mean One Thing…

  1. NotBiasedRetard says:

    BAHAHA I’d like a reference to who from NASA “made that statement”. People are such gullible assholes! LOL LOVE IT!!

  2. maybe this was heaven means… like, heaven’s… on earth. and onother heaven’s beyond our imagination. or, in other dimension…. ah… what more can i, say… im, hoping theres more peace on that planet that can fills our dreams… eli..

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