Can Kim Jung Un Achieve Sunglasses Bigger Than His Dad’s?


Ding dong the witch is dead.  Or I guess in his case, wicken.  This past week, the long-time leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Il, passed away after suffering a heart attack.  Jong Il had been grooming his son, Kim Jong Un, to succeed him someday though he probably did not assume it would be this soon. Many questions about this switch remain. Is Jong Un as into musicals? Will Jong Il be buried in the most fabulous dirt Korea has to offer? Will Jong Un surpass his father in size of…sunglasses?

Despite his youth, many sunglass scientists believe that Jong Un will surpass his father’s sunglass size at least in an effort to show he is way more fabulous than his dad.  In fact his youth may even be a positive thing in attempting to wear giant sunglasses.  His young skin can hold onto them much better.  He has more chances to try out new looks.

Reliable intelligence coming out of North Korea is showing that he is having trouble figuring out the brand of sunglasses he will go with. His father had used a brand made by the Limited Too. “He loved them. No one had the heart to tell him they for silly little girls,” said long-time paid friend. He’s currently choosing between Ray Bans, aviators, and this really cool pair he saw at a gas station one time that he can’t stop thinking about.

What is certain is that if he does not make his sunglasses bigger than his father’s, then no nation will be able to take him serious as one of the most polarizing leaders in the world. And that surely would be the end of North Korea as we know it.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

3 Responses to Can Kim Jung Un Achieve Sunglasses Bigger Than His Dad’s?

  1. sarnaj says:

    Wow. Too soon… and yet brilliant. Well done.

  2. Allwen Pascoe says:

    Very true!

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