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The True Cause of our Poor Economy: Planking.


It takes a lot of work to be this lazy.

About a month ago, Rawful News decided to do a study on why our economy is doing so poorly.  We chose a month mainly because anything longer than a month is like SOOOOOOOOO long.  So during our work hours, everyone has stopped what they’re doing to Google laziness in America.  And the general consensus of our office is that our economy is in the dumps because of planking.  It is a testament to our laziness.

We have taken the laziest thing possible, laying flat faced downwards, into an iconic underground sport. The more we searched Google images during our work hours, the more we wanted to take part in planking. So after our two hour lunch we took an hour and a half break to try out planking. It was the most fun any of us have ever had. But how dare you all take part in it. Our study shows that 9 out of 10 searches of “plank” or “planking” came up with someone taking part in this activity. If we extrapolate that stat to the United States, it would mean 270 million Americans are taking part in this activity. Everyone is laying down for sport. No wonder no work is getting accomplished.

There have even been several deaths from planking. Isn’t it about time we stopped dying from planking and start dying in unsafe manufacturing factories? We think so. Get to it.

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About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at http://www.rawfulnews.com/ Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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