White House to Have Garage Sale

The grass will be covered with deals!!!!1

The White House is in a pickle. The national debt is rising at an incredible rate. It’s stifling our economy, halting job growth, and taking up my television news time when I could be watching about whether Obama is Hitler or not. In recent weeks, another committee was created in order to explore different avenues to reduce the debt. Except taxes. That’d be ridiculous.

So what could this administration possibly come up with to alleviate our monstrous debt. The same thing every family does when they need a few extra bucks. Bring all of the random crap they have accumulated onto their lawn like a homeless person with a home, and pawn their things to passersby. A garage sale.

It turns out, that the Obama Administration implemented an earlier effort to stimulate the economy at the beginning of 2011. It was called “Let’s Help.” The plan was to match all of the purchases of the American people. So when an American, or legal resident, buys a pair of slacks, so would the United States government. That would effectively double the amount of purchases made and stimulate the economy twice as much. Well this plan ended up adding another bajillion dollars to the national debt, which in 1950 dollars is a gajillion.

So this coming Saturday, the Obama’s will have all of those goods on the White House lawn. Eighty inch plasma screens will be sold for thirty dollars. Gucci purses will be going for twelve dollars. And blu-ray copies of Valentine’s Day are free. Those were a complete waste. The losses will be in the dafillions of dollars. But hey, at least they’re not taxes. They’ll find a way, someday.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

One Response to White House to Have Garage Sale

  1. Pingback: Rawful News: White House to Have Garage Sale | CulturedSavages

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