5-Year Old Joe Lee Possible First Asian American President

Too kayute

When Senator Barack Hussein Obama was surging past John McCain in the polls, people were excited about the prospect of the first African-American president. Many were touting it as the ‘end of racism.’ A huge benchmark? Yes. End of racism? Not even close. And that’s because there is another race that falls through the cracks. Asians.

Until one of their kind is elected, racism will still exist. This line of thinking has sent many on a mission to find who would be the first Asian American president. The Asian American Alliance has found the person they think is the man for the job. Well, boy for the job. His name is Joseph Lee and he resides in Boston, Massachusetts with his parents, they are Asian immigrants. He also has four siblings, as well as an imaginary friend named Dale. Joe receives mostly A’s with a couple B’s in coloring inside the lines. But he chocks it up to being a free thinker.

So why this kid? Well the whole immigrant parent thing works great for him. That’ll be an excellent story to tell his political followers using terms like ‘melting pot’ and ‘ancestry’ more often than a little kid asks “But, why?” And trust us, Joe Lee did. His excellent grades give him a wonderful start. Because let’s face it, if you’re screwing up in preschool, you’ll probably screw up for the rest of your life.

But why such a young kid? Is the Asian American Alliance in the habit of researching little boys? Not lately. In a statement from the Alliance, President Hao Kanyu said “We realize he is younger than most people were expecting. But with the election of a black man, people are probably going to be sick of talking/hearing about the ‘first whatever race president.’ So our mission is to not be premature about this. Plus candidates are campaigning so far in advance, we want him to really get a jump on the competition. We hear some Latino kid is declaring his candidacy next week. Things are getting fierce.”

Unfortunately for Lee though, a sex scandal has already come out of the woodworks. Apparently he kissed a girl in his class on the cheek three weeks ago. But it was only to distract her while he stole her play-doh. Feminists have had a field day with this piece of information, claiming that he ‘uses women’ for his own betterment. Lucky for Joe Lee, Americans have a short memory. And he legally can’t run for office for another thirty years. Good luck kiddo. You’re going to need it.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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