Man Stuck in Bar After He Cannot Pay the 2-Drink Minimum

Mm drink em up num nums.

Frank Haverford, a twenty-three year old recent college graduate, has been stuck in a local bar for the past three days.  He first entered the bar this past Saturday night with a group of friends in the promise of seeing some stand-up comedy.  Frank promised to be the designated driver as he has been trying to save money for graduate school and alcohol can be quite expensive at bars.

So planning on not drinking too much, he brought his I.D. and a little more money than it took to get into the show.  But as most people who have been to a comedy club before, they know there is almost always a two drink minimum.  It’s how they make their money.  Frank was unaware of this fact, and his dick friends did not feel it pertinent to let him know this.  So he shows up to have a few laughs and even more awkward silences, enjoys one Bud Light, but only because they didn’t sell Coors at the bar, and thinks that is the end of his night.  When he and his friends began to leave the bar, he was grabbed by one of the bouncers proclaiming he had not bought his second drink.

Frank replied with “What second drink?”  He was then promptly informed of the bar’s request of all their patrons to buy two drinks upon entry when the bouncer said “You buy the second drink or I’ll fucking end you.”  Scary.  And not because Halloween is coming up.  It’s because the bouncer wass a 6ft 5in African-American man who happens to be incredibly angry at his failed college football career after he blew out his knee sophomore year.  That is a man you do not want to mess with.  And that is a man you cannot get around.

But unfortunately for Frank, he did not have any money to spend on a second drink.  Even more unfortunate is that his friends decided they were sick of him ‘mooching’ off of them so they left, broke into his car, hotwired it, and left.  So Frank has been stuck inside that very same bar for the past three days.  He does not know where his friends are, where his car is, if they even made it home alive.  He has been living off of bar peanuts and tap water.  But really the only security the bar has against people skipping out on the two drink minimum, is just to hold them hostage until they buy both of those gosh darn drinks.  And that is exactly what is happening.  Good luck Frank Haverford.  Maybe try their open mic nights for a few years and then maybe you can make enough money to pay for that next drink.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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