Make Yourself Over like a Politician: Female Republican

Admit it. She's pretty hot.

Looks are very important in every aspect of life.  Especially for women.  Men can get away with certain things, like unkempt hair (that’s even a style), no make-up, or a wrinkled t-shirt.  Looks are a completely different thing for women.  And female Republicans are no exception.  Ladies, if you are looking to run for office as a Republican, here are some tips on how to better your chances.

Looking old is not an option for these mama grizzlies.  Check out any female Republican and she is by no means in her twenties, but they typically have a creaminess to their skin that female Democrats have been missing in recent years.  So be sure and moisturize the shit out of your face.  If you could grab a snorkel and sleep face down in a bucket of Lubriderm that would be ideal.  If you have wrinkles in your face, get some work done or get out of the way.  And I don’t mean get work done in the office because, let’s face it, that’s pretty unnecessary.

The next step is a pair of glasses, preferably bifocals to convey to your constituents your ability to multi-task.  This also shows exactly how intelligent you are.  It does not matter if you have 20/20 vision, grab those bad-boys and drape them off the end of your nose.  It’s something that states, I read even into the darkest of nights.  Which may in fact be every night because ‘I read by candlelight because I am old-fashioned.’

Next step is to pull your hair back as if you are ready to work your tail off and throw down if need be.  You tie your hair back because you don’t need that mop flapping in your face while you’re ripping Democrats’ throats out one by one.

The final step is to be sure and cover your breasts as much as possible.  Pile clothes on top of those puppies.  Honestly, if you could get rid of them altogether that would be ideal, but seeing as how surgery is expensive and timely, just make sure that the cleaves never see the light of day.  Caught in a bathing suit, done.  Low cut top, out of office.  Tube top, you are a prostitute.

Ladies, if you follow these steps carefully, you will practically be in office and running shit on your own just like you always dreamed of after you realized your career in fashion/acting/modeling was a no-go.


About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: