American Universities To Be Made Easier in Order to Raise Graduation Rates.

This guy looks like he's having a good time in college.

So my boss came to me with an idea for an article and I was like nah I don’t wanna do that that sounds stupid because if you have a college degree your automatically smart but he was like I agree so then I was like why are we arguing.  So I started researching Wikipedia on dumb people and I got sidetracked by dumb and dumbers wiki page.  Did you know that jeff daniels wasn’t supposed to be in the movie originally.  That’s fucking stupid.  So I gave up researching and decided to finish my stupid paper about people more stupider than i.  me.  i.  fuck it.

New paragraph.  So here’s the deal.  The obamanator said a while ago on some date that countries like india in their off time of making curry are all getting college degrees.  Way to get degrees and still be poor.  And in America were not getting as many degrees although everyone I knew in college was getting their degree so I don’t know what hes talking bout.  I mean I got my degree in English and look how well im doing for myself.  I work at a national political news outlet.  Before I worked at an outlet store.  I was good at that too.  Anyways college was hard when I was in it.  But c’s get degrees.  Ye ye ye.

Another new paragraph.   I am so drunk while I’m writing this too.   Ok not drunk, but buzzed.  I only had like four beers on my break.  And a hit of weed.  One time my dad caught me high and he was all “you been smokin’ dope?”  Funny old guy.  People are mad about this but the way i see it is that college was hard enough as it was.  i mean i could barely drink four days a week. shitty shitty bang bang.

Anyways, what makes a college dumber anyways?  Less books, less teachers, less money, less weed?  Less less less.  Well if I know anything it’s that less is more.  That’s why when my articles are too long, (which is never), my boss tells me to shorten them.  So I’m thinking that this article should end right, about………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………



About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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