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50 Cent Shot a Tenth Time. Suspects Include Dick Cheney. And That’s it.


Dick Cheney say "GRRR"

With so many major issues at the tip of American’s tongues including the economy, our wars, gay marriage, and the deficit, some older controversial topics have fallen to the bottom of the barrel.  One such issue is gun control.  But it seems that a new shooting may bring it back to the forefront of news programs, at least for today.  Yet another senseless shooting has nearly taken a man’s life.  That man is Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson.

The rapper famously known for being shot nine times and living to tell the tale has been shot another time in the abdomen.  The abdomen in question can be seen in a workout in his song “In Da Club.”  It happened at approximately 1:30 am outside of a club in downtown Los Angeles.  It is unclear as to why he was shot other than the possibility that he has a bullet magnet in his body somewhere.  What is known at the moment is that Dick Cheney has been named as the primary suspect by the LAPD.

“We do not know that Dick Cheney was in Los Angeles or even awake at 1:30am, but we do not know that he was NOT in Los Angeles at 1:30am.  That seems very suspicious to me,” so says LAPD Chief William J. Bratton.  Dick Cheney has been known for some wacky gun activity in the past.  In early 2006, Dick Cheney shot his long-time friend in the fact during a hunting trip.  The man survived and actually apologized to the Vice President for any trauma it caused him.  No one would expect that he would have shot a friend, so it seems plausible that in this crazy situation, Mr. Cheney could be equally at fault.  Sure the logic is not completely sound, but neither is Cheney’s heart.

The LAPD have launched a full scale investigation into the matter and will be prosecuting the former Vice President to the full extent of the law.  The first place they plan on looking for him is in Halliburton’s back pocket.  If he is not there, Frankenstein’s workshop would be the next best place to search.  If that fails then he is probably dead and the case will be considered a murder-suicide, says Chief Bratton.  One thing is for sure though.  Mr. Cheney is on the run.

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About Rawful News
I write satire and gossip. Check it out at http://www.rawfulnews.com/ Or Tweet me @Kendoggydog28

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